Wednesday, May 23, 2012
2 months. 2 months without you. Somedays it seems like forever, somedays it seems like yesterday and somedays it seems like a bad dream. 2 months since I held you and kissed your sweet face. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you or miss you. Missing you is getting a little easier. I still have a Grant sized hole but the edges aren't as raw. That hole will always be there but it won't be as painful and that's ok. I smiled and laughed the other day for real for the first time since telling you goodbye. I've smiled and laughed before that but not completely, but the other day it was all of me smiling and laughing and it felt good. I feel like my emotions are bigger now because of you. I love deeper because of you. You have made me want to be a better mom, wife and person. I know I'll be a better doctor, one who understands what it's like to lose a child. I am beyond grateful for your life and so blessed to have you as my son. I love you my baby boy and I always will.