Sunday, April 17, 2011

Sobering Perspective

Sobering perspective is what my job has given me lately. I'm a pediatric resident and I'm used to taking care of really sick little kids. This week I learned that maybe we are a little too used to it. Usually kids come in with a variety of illnesses, we do what we have been trained to do, and they get better and go home, happy and healthy once again. However, we have had multiple small children pass away in the past few weeks from freak illnesses that ran rampant through their little bodies and nothing we could do would stop it. It's sobering to know that a previously perfectly healthy kid could show up to the hospital and have passed away not even 12 hours later. It just goes to show that God is in charge and we just happen to be his workers. This also makes you have a different perspective on life. Life can change in the blink of an eye, so what am I doing to make my life count? What am I doing to show that there is a God and that His plan is so much better than my own? Makes you think, huh?

My friends at work think I'm crazy. Maybe I am a little crazy. I work on average 80 hours per week. Jonathan and I are foster parents. I have a dream to start an organization to help teen moms. I'm about to embark on my first "real" job in a few short months. We are still going through infertility treatments. I've been thinking of adopting a child with special needs from another country. Maybe all of this makes me crazy. I'm ok with being a little crazy. I believe I'm just doing what God wants me to do. Once again, it kind of turns back to perspective. I believe that the reason I am on this earth is to help people. I have been given talents and gifts that not a lot of other people have in the grand scheme of things. I have been put in a position of authority and prestige simply because of my occupation and I believe that I should use it to help impact the world. One of my friends says that I fly by the seat of my pants. It's sort of true. I've learned to just go with things, do what I think needs to be done, and figure some things out as I go. I'm glad that my friend appreciates me for who I am. These last few weeks have really made me appreciate my friends, husband, and family. You never know when something can change. 

We still don't have any foster children. It's been almost 3 weeks and I miss having little ones around. I know God has the perfect kids out there waiting for us and for the right time for them to come into our lives. Until then I will enjoy the time I get to spend alone with Jonathan.