Church this morning was AMAZING. It was all about community. Why we need it and how it should look. I stole our pastors phrase...gospel community. It means making our church look like the community that God has in mind. Rich, poor, educated, uneducated, outgoing, introverted all fellowshiping together, being a community. This means that we rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. We support each other through burdens and hard times. We pray for each other, encourage each other and speak truth to each other. While he was preaching I was thinking about our COM group (small group) that we have recently joined. We have begun making friends in this group and are enjoying getting to know them. However, as he was talking about how we should be more transparent in our COM groups, in order to allow us to really be a gospel community, I was thinking about how most of our group doesn't really know about Grant. One couple already knew Grant's story. I used to work with her and we were friends before we started going to church there. However, only 1 or 2 more girls in the group know about him. It's not because we aren't proud of him. I think it's because we don't want to burden others with the sadness of a baby dying. The look that people give you when you say your baby died is heartbreaking and we aren't always open about it. We need to be though. I was talking with my friend Melinda (who is in our COM group and knows about Grant) after church today about this. I think the next time our group gets together we will share Grant's story. The whole story. These are our friends, fellow believers, those who are supposed to be there to support and love us, they should know about our first born, our son.
I've been thinking about Grant a great deal more lately than normal. I think about him every day but most of the time it's a short thought as I see his picture on our wall or see his nose on Amelia. Sometimes I think more as I rock her and pray before bed or when I see a little boy that would be about his age. As his second birthday is approaching I've thought about him more. I've thought about how I want to celebrate him for his birthday, how I want people to remember him. I'm still working on what I would like to do for his birthday but I'm sure I will figure something out that will honor him and celebrate him. First, I will share his life with our friends.