The first week of school is behind us. D loves her teacher and already has a few friends. A hates going and cries almost as soon as we open the door to get him out of the car but then does great the rest of the day. Jonathan has finished his first week back to college. I don't think he realized how much homework he was going to have and how much independent learning he would have to do. He is enjoying it though and I'm so proud of him.
This weekend we headed to Dallas for my twin nieces 5th birthday party. We stayed with my sister and brother in law and had fun visiting and hanging out. Ate lunch with some good friends we hadn't seen in a while and enjoyed a birthday party with the family. D and A had a blast. We had promised D a surprise for today and we took her bowling and to play arcade games. She loved it and was super excited to go "bowling ball" for the first time. We are headed on our way home now. Jonathan has homework to do and I need to study for my board exam.
I'm glad to know that my friends on the east coast are surviving the hurricane.
Keep praying for those being affected by this storm.
~until~
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Back to School
Tomorrow is August 22nd. The first day of school for D! Jonathan also starts back to college tomorrow and I am so proud of him. A started daycare last week so he could start getting used to it before the chaos of tomorrow hits. I also am taking our friends little girl Andrea to daycare tomorrow for her first day. Jonathan has been keeping her for the past 18 months during the day and now that he is going to college it is time for her to go to daycare. I never knew what it would feel like to have my kids go to school on the first day, now I do and I LOVE IT! It is so exciting helping them pick out school supplies, lunch boxes, school clothes. Helping pack backpacks for the first day, making a school lunch for D, picking out clothes for school and planning a first day of school breakfast! I think I'm more excited about this than she is. The other great thing about starting school is having our set routine back.
D and A have been visiting with their grandma every weekend for the past 4-5 weeks. They went there this weekend too but we decided that it would be best to pick them up Saturday instead of Sunday so that we could make sure they were in bed on time today and were well rested for tomorrow. Usually when we pick them up they are exhausted and hyped up on caffeine and sugar. Yesterday was no different and they were asleep in the car on the way home at 8:30. Jonathan had to wake up A this morning at 8:45 and D didn't get up till 8:30 so we know they were exhausted.
I can't wait for D's soccer season to start soon. Her first game is in a few weeks and hopefully we will find out what team she is on and when practice is sometime this week. Jonathan may be coaching her team, we are waiting to find out if they need extra coaches. D is super excited about playing soccer and I hope she loves it.
On a different note... we are still working on infertility stuff. I'm not gonna go into details but we are slowly getting back into seeing our specialist and trying to have a baby. This time around I feel more at peace about everything than I have in the past. Jonathan pointed out something to me the other day that I hadn't really thought about and that is that if we would have had a baby a year ago we wouldn't have been foster parents now and wouldn't have known S, K, C, C, C, B, D or A. We wouldn't have been blessed with these children and wouldn't know the joy that they have brought us. God knows what He is doing and in His time we will have a baby.
~until~
D and A have been visiting with their grandma every weekend for the past 4-5 weeks. They went there this weekend too but we decided that it would be best to pick them up Saturday instead of Sunday so that we could make sure they were in bed on time today and were well rested for tomorrow. Usually when we pick them up they are exhausted and hyped up on caffeine and sugar. Yesterday was no different and they were asleep in the car on the way home at 8:30. Jonathan had to wake up A this morning at 8:45 and D didn't get up till 8:30 so we know they were exhausted.
I can't wait for D's soccer season to start soon. Her first game is in a few weeks and hopefully we will find out what team she is on and when practice is sometime this week. Jonathan may be coaching her team, we are waiting to find out if they need extra coaches. D is super excited about playing soccer and I hope she loves it.
On a different note... we are still working on infertility stuff. I'm not gonna go into details but we are slowly getting back into seeing our specialist and trying to have a baby. This time around I feel more at peace about everything than I have in the past. Jonathan pointed out something to me the other day that I hadn't really thought about and that is that if we would have had a baby a year ago we wouldn't have been foster parents now and wouldn't have known S, K, C, C, C, B, D or A. We wouldn't have been blessed with these children and wouldn't know the joy that they have brought us. God knows what He is doing and in His time we will have a baby.
~until~
Friday, August 5, 2011
An Unexpected Surprise...
We had an unexpected surprise this week and my heart is happy. D and A were supposed to be going to live with their grandma by August 15th. They have been staying with her on weekends for the last few weeks to prepare everyone for the transition. We had some concerns about them living there and had expressed these but basically the plan was to still have them live with Grandma in 2 weeks. However, this past week grandma came forward and told our case worker that she couldn't care for them full time. She will still have occasional weekend visits, but they will be living with us for now. We are so excited to know that they are staying with us for the time being. We didn't feel good about them leaving because of some things we knew about where they would be living and this is a huge relief. I'm glad that they get to continue their relationship with their grandmother, it had been estranged for about a year, and that I know that they will be taken care of the rest of the time. I know our role as foster parents is to foster them and allow the families to fix problems so the children can go home and I actually feel like the system is working the way it should right now.
We are really excited to get the chance to be "real" parents to these kids. They have been here just over 3 months, longer than any of our other placements. They will most likely be here for a few more months at the least. We have enrolled A in daycare, D in after school care and will be enrolling D in her new school and soccer on Monday. She is so excited to be going to the school that is in our neighborhood and to be playing soccer this fall. She seems really excited to be staying here and getting to visit grandma on some weekends. I'm excited to go back to school shopping, school supply shopping, soccer practices and soccer games, sleepovers for D, birthday parties for their friends and more, all the things they deserve to have. I feel like we have been given the biggest gift by the grandmother recognizing that she is not capable of caring for them. I really just want to give her a hug and tell her thank you! Thank you for not being selfish. Thank you for knowing what is best for these two precious children. I know she has made an incredibly hard decision and I am so grateful that she was able to do so.
Thank you God for continuing to provide for D, A, Jonathan and I. Please continue to help their family make good decisions, work hard to get their children back, and give them a peace of mind that D and A are being cared for and loved.
~until~
We are really excited to get the chance to be "real" parents to these kids. They have been here just over 3 months, longer than any of our other placements. They will most likely be here for a few more months at the least. We have enrolled A in daycare, D in after school care and will be enrolling D in her new school and soccer on Monday. She is so excited to be going to the school that is in our neighborhood and to be playing soccer this fall. She seems really excited to be staying here and getting to visit grandma on some weekends. I'm excited to go back to school shopping, school supply shopping, soccer practices and soccer games, sleepovers for D, birthday parties for their friends and more, all the things they deserve to have. I feel like we have been given the biggest gift by the grandmother recognizing that she is not capable of caring for them. I really just want to give her a hug and tell her thank you! Thank you for not being selfish. Thank you for knowing what is best for these two precious children. I know she has made an incredibly hard decision and I am so grateful that she was able to do so.
Thank you God for continuing to provide for D, A, Jonathan and I. Please continue to help their family make good decisions, work hard to get their children back, and give them a peace of mind that D and A are being cared for and loved.
~until~
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
"I Couldn't Do It..."
As foster parents we often hear people tell us we have big hearts, we are special, or they say "I wouldn't be able to let them leave". People are always saying that it would break their hearts to have the kids leave after they have gotten attached. It does break our hearts. We miss all of our kids and talk about all the ones we have had in the last 7 months often. Each child brought something different to our home. I don't know that we have any bigger hearts than other people or that we are any more special than someone else. We are doing what God has called us to do by taking care of orphans. As Jonathan and I were talking the other day about this very topic the answer to people's statements of "I couldn't let them leave, it would break my heart" came to me. Next time I think I will say "It does break our heart each and every time the children leave our home because we love them. However, all of the sadness of them leaving is made up for by all of the joy they bring us while they are here and watching them change in front of our eyes." We have had 4 different placements so far. All 4 have been for different reasons. Parents in prison to drugs to domestic abuse to neglect. Neglect is actually a huge part of all of those. Children raised in homes of abuse often times suffer the type of abuse and also neglect. It is so rewarding to watch a child go from being scared of being left or being scared of sleeping because of things that have happened in their sleep to climbing into their own beds at night singing Jesus Loves Me. Watching a child who only said 2 words when they got to our home to saying more than 50 in less than 3 months because we talk to them, encourage them and love on them. All of these things make up for the sadness and are the reason that when A and D leave we will welcome more kids into our home. I think that the foster parents that don't get sad when their kids leave shouldn't be foster parents anymore. These children need people to love them unconditionally and wholeheartedly regardless of the pain that we as foster parents know it's going to bring us. That's what we vow to give our foster kids, wholehearted, unconditional love. Foster care isn't about giving children a temporary place to live. It's about giving them a home where they feel safe, loved, cherished, secure, and a sense of belonging to a family. I love being a foster mom, even in the hard times, and for now we will continue to open our doors and our hearts to little kids who need us.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Struggles
This post may not be all up beat and happy. This blog is for us to share our journey through infertility, foster care and eventually adoption, and all of those things have times of heartache. Unfortunately, sometimes the heartache all happens together.
D and A came to our home on April 28th. They have been with us longer than any of our other foster children. We have been waiting for CPS to tell us if one of their grandmothers would be approved to have them live with her. It's taken over 6 weeks for her home study to be approved, which personally I think is ridiculous. Everyone involved with these children are waiting for answers, including the children. D keeps asking if grandma has passed her test, well, yesterday we finally told her that grandma did pass her test and that before school starts they will be leaving. Before they can go live with their grandmother they have to have weekend visits first so that A can get to know her because he hasn't seen her since he was an infant, even though she only lives 30 minutes from his house. The situation is really odd but hopefully it's what is best for the kids. I know that D is happy to be going so that helps. Waiting a few more weeks for them to leave when we know they are leaving soon is going to be emotionally hard. We've had 3 other sets of foster kids so far and all of them we have been called and told they were leaving the same day of the phone call. It's hard to get all there stuff together that quickly and say good bye but it's not drawn out over a few weeks. Either way it's hard to say goodbye to them. It's amazing how fast you fall in love with these kids and we will miss D and A dearly.
Infertility brings a totally different type of heartbreak and until you have experienced it I don't think you can truly understand. Most women want to have their own biological child. If you are one of those women who wants to have your own child and you can't, your heart breaks. It doesn't just break once, it breaks almost monthly when that test is negative. It's so hard not to get your hopes up that maybe this month it worked. Maybe this month will be different. I have been ovulating without medications since last fall, which is wonderful, yet we still haven't gotten pregnant. Later this month I will have to have a specialized test to see if my uterus and fallopian tubes are all normal and seem to be working. I think that we may be quickly approaching the end of our infertility journey because we aren't willing to do IVF. That means we have IUI left, which I've heard is really stressful on the husband and wife. Not that all of this hasn't been stressful on both of us already. We will wait and see what happens this month.
Adoption. Our eventual goal no matter if we have our own children or not. We will still adopt a child, or 2 or 3. Adoption is something that we have been called by God to do. Just like Foster care is. He calls us to care for the orphans, and that is what we are doing. Right now I think that he wants us to pursue infertility and adoption/foster care at the same time. If at one point he tells us to stop the infertility work then we will. Here's the problem with adoption.... It's REALLY expensive. I'm talking, could buy a very nice new car expensive. Adoption through foster care can be free, if the children meet certain criteria. Here's the other problem with adoption.....it takes a REALLY long time. This is regardless of if it's through foster care, private, international. Sometimes it takes YEARS to get your child. I guess after trying to have our own baby for 3 years it should be no big deal, but my maternal clock is ticking and getting louder. Jonathan and I are discussing infant adoption through an agency on top of continuing foster to adopt. I really want a newborn. I know that that may seem crazy. I want to be woken up every 2 hours to that sweet infant. I want to watch them grow and develop from the time they are born until they are adults, I don't want to miss out on part of their life. I don't mind adopting a little older kids too, I just want to experience at least once, having an infant.
D and A have been a joy to have in our house the last 10 weeks and we wouldn't trade our time with them for anything. I've loved watching them thrive in a family environment. Watching A learn to talk and come out of his shell. He is such a happy little boy. He is always smiling and ready to play. He is all boy and wants to wrestle and shoot things and throw balls. D is such a sweet young girl. She is girly and wants to curl her hair, paint her nails and wear dresses. I don't understand girly very much, cause that's not me at all, but it's fun watching her and playing with her. She loves her brother so much and it's fun to watch their relationship develop to that of a sister and brother instead of her trying to be the mom all the time. We love them dearly and will miss them so much when they leave.
~until~
D and A came to our home on April 28th. They have been with us longer than any of our other foster children. We have been waiting for CPS to tell us if one of their grandmothers would be approved to have them live with her. It's taken over 6 weeks for her home study to be approved, which personally I think is ridiculous. Everyone involved with these children are waiting for answers, including the children. D keeps asking if grandma has passed her test, well, yesterday we finally told her that grandma did pass her test and that before school starts they will be leaving. Before they can go live with their grandmother they have to have weekend visits first so that A can get to know her because he hasn't seen her since he was an infant, even though she only lives 30 minutes from his house. The situation is really odd but hopefully it's what is best for the kids. I know that D is happy to be going so that helps. Waiting a few more weeks for them to leave when we know they are leaving soon is going to be emotionally hard. We've had 3 other sets of foster kids so far and all of them we have been called and told they were leaving the same day of the phone call. It's hard to get all there stuff together that quickly and say good bye but it's not drawn out over a few weeks. Either way it's hard to say goodbye to them. It's amazing how fast you fall in love with these kids and we will miss D and A dearly.
Infertility brings a totally different type of heartbreak and until you have experienced it I don't think you can truly understand. Most women want to have their own biological child. If you are one of those women who wants to have your own child and you can't, your heart breaks. It doesn't just break once, it breaks almost monthly when that test is negative. It's so hard not to get your hopes up that maybe this month it worked. Maybe this month will be different. I have been ovulating without medications since last fall, which is wonderful, yet we still haven't gotten pregnant. Later this month I will have to have a specialized test to see if my uterus and fallopian tubes are all normal and seem to be working. I think that we may be quickly approaching the end of our infertility journey because we aren't willing to do IVF. That means we have IUI left, which I've heard is really stressful on the husband and wife. Not that all of this hasn't been stressful on both of us already. We will wait and see what happens this month.
Adoption. Our eventual goal no matter if we have our own children or not. We will still adopt a child, or 2 or 3. Adoption is something that we have been called by God to do. Just like Foster care is. He calls us to care for the orphans, and that is what we are doing. Right now I think that he wants us to pursue infertility and adoption/foster care at the same time. If at one point he tells us to stop the infertility work then we will. Here's the problem with adoption.... It's REALLY expensive. I'm talking, could buy a very nice new car expensive. Adoption through foster care can be free, if the children meet certain criteria. Here's the other problem with adoption.....it takes a REALLY long time. This is regardless of if it's through foster care, private, international. Sometimes it takes YEARS to get your child. I guess after trying to have our own baby for 3 years it should be no big deal, but my maternal clock is ticking and getting louder. Jonathan and I are discussing infant adoption through an agency on top of continuing foster to adopt. I really want a newborn. I know that that may seem crazy. I want to be woken up every 2 hours to that sweet infant. I want to watch them grow and develop from the time they are born until they are adults, I don't want to miss out on part of their life. I don't mind adopting a little older kids too, I just want to experience at least once, having an infant.
D and A have been a joy to have in our house the last 10 weeks and we wouldn't trade our time with them for anything. I've loved watching them thrive in a family environment. Watching A learn to talk and come out of his shell. He is such a happy little boy. He is always smiling and ready to play. He is all boy and wants to wrestle and shoot things and throw balls. D is such a sweet young girl. She is girly and wants to curl her hair, paint her nails and wear dresses. I don't understand girly very much, cause that's not me at all, but it's fun watching her and playing with her. She loves her brother so much and it's fun to watch their relationship develop to that of a sister and brother instead of her trying to be the mom all the time. We love them dearly and will miss them so much when they leave.
~until~
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Graduation...Vacation...Moving...New Job...
Our life is crazy hectic right now and I love it. Residency graduation was last Friday. My parents, grandmother, and mother-in-law came to my graduation banquet along with Jonathan, D and A of course. We were all dressed up and I loved having my family there to celebrate the completion of the last 3 years.
My little "family" Jonathan, Me, D, A, and Andrea (the little girl Jonathan watches)
Me and my MeMaw
My Parents and I.
My Mother-in-law, Me, Jonathan
One of my best friends: Allie and Me
My last day of residency is this Friday. We leave for vacation on Sunday. My parents are going to watch D and A while we are gone. I can't wait to go on vacation with the love of my life and enjoy time together. We are headed to Seattle, Vancouver and Victoria. We have baseball tickets to watch the Mariner's play, one more stadium to add to my collection for my goal to go to all major league stadiums to watch a game.
We will be gone on vacation for 8 days. The day after we get back from vacation (which we will arrive home at like 10pm) we have to finish packing and paint at the new house. The next day we move. The next few days will include unpacking and getting things settled. We also have to have home and fire inspections at the new house before we move in for our foster care stuff.
I start my new job as a pediatric hospitalist on July 5th. This means I really need to be done moving in and unpacking before my job starts.
D and A are doing well. D is half-way done with summer school and hopefully by the end she will test on the next level and be able to go to the next grade in the fall. A is learning to talk and it's so fun to watch him learn and grow.
Like I said, our lives are crazy busy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
~until~
My last day of residency is this Friday. We leave for vacation on Sunday. My parents are going to watch D and A while we are gone. I can't wait to go on vacation with the love of my life and enjoy time together. We are headed to Seattle, Vancouver and Victoria. We have baseball tickets to watch the Mariner's play, one more stadium to add to my collection for my goal to go to all major league stadiums to watch a game.
We will be gone on vacation for 8 days. The day after we get back from vacation (which we will arrive home at like 10pm) we have to finish packing and paint at the new house. The next day we move. The next few days will include unpacking and getting things settled. We also have to have home and fire inspections at the new house before we move in for our foster care stuff.
I start my new job as a pediatric hospitalist on July 5th. This means I really need to be done moving in and unpacking before my job starts.
D and A are doing well. D is half-way done with summer school and hopefully by the end she will test on the next level and be able to go to the next grade in the fall. A is learning to talk and it's so fun to watch him learn and grow.
Like I said, our lives are crazy busy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
~until~
Friday, June 3, 2011
5 Years!
I can't believe that 5 years ago today we were getting married. The last 5 years have totally flown by. I'm so glad that God chose Jonathan to be my husband. He has been the most amazing husband a girl could ask for. I don't think that I can even begin to describe all of the wonderful things he does for me and our family. Over the last 5 years we have been married and even the 2 years before that he has supported me through some of the most difficult things I have ever done. First medical school where I studied a lot and was always stressed out, him working long hours to support us. Then the last 3 years of residency where I have worked on average 80 hours per week every week. The last 2 years he has been a stay at home husband/dad/nanny and he as been a huge blessing to me. I always knew he would make an amazing daddy, and I was right. When we got our first foster kids and every set since, he is so good with them and shows them what a Godly husband and father should be. I can't imagine my life without him and can't wait to spend the rest of it with him.
On to our foster kids. D and A had court on Wednesday. They will be going to live with their grandmother as soon as she has an approved home study. If it isn't before June 22, then that is our next court date. However, we don't have to wait for the court date for them to be able to go to grandma. I'm glad they aren't being split up and that they have the opportunity to go to grandma's. I kind of want them to stay to the end of the month so that D can finish summer school and be ready for next year but I know that it's good for them to be with family and that she will go back to first grade in the fall instead of second grade if she isn't living with us. They are doing wonderfully and are a joy to be around. I've loved having them here with us and we will miss them when they are gone.
Residency graduation ceremony is next weekend. I can't believe that it is already here. Then Jonathan and I are going to Seattle on vacation! I can't wait to take a vacation with him and get to celebrate the end of the past 7 years of hard work.
~until~
On to our foster kids. D and A had court on Wednesday. They will be going to live with their grandmother as soon as she has an approved home study. If it isn't before June 22, then that is our next court date. However, we don't have to wait for the court date for them to be able to go to grandma. I'm glad they aren't being split up and that they have the opportunity to go to grandma's. I kind of want them to stay to the end of the month so that D can finish summer school and be ready for next year but I know that it's good for them to be with family and that she will go back to first grade in the fall instead of second grade if she isn't living with us. They are doing wonderfully and are a joy to be around. I've loved having them here with us and we will miss them when they are gone.
Residency graduation ceremony is next weekend. I can't believe that it is already here. Then Jonathan and I are going to Seattle on vacation! I can't wait to take a vacation with him and get to celebrate the end of the past 7 years of hard work.
~until~
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