Graduation...Vacation...Moving...New Job...

Our life is crazy hectic right now and I love it. Residency graduation was last Friday. My parents, grandmother, and mother-in-law came to my graduation banquet along with Jonathan, D and A of course. We were all dressed up and I loved having my family there to celebrate the completion of the last 3 years.

 My little "family" Jonathan, Me, D, A, and Andrea (the little girl Jonathan watches)

 Me and my MeMaw

 My Parents and I.

 My Mother-in-law, Me, Jonathan

One of my best friends: Allie and Me

My last day of residency is this Friday. We leave for vacation on Sunday. My parents are going to watch D and A while we are gone. I can't wait to go on vacation with the love of my life and enjoy time together. We are headed to Seattle, Vancouver and Victoria. We have baseball tickets to watch the Mariner's play, one more stadium to add to my collection for my goal to go to all major league stadiums to watch a game.

We will be gone on vacation for 8 days. The day after we get back from vacation (which we will arrive home at like 10pm) we have to finish packing and paint at the new house. The next day we move. The next few days will include unpacking and getting things settled. We also have to have home and fire inspections at the new house before we move in for our foster care stuff.

I start my new job as a pediatric hospitalist on July 5th. This means I really need to be done moving in and unpacking before my job starts.

D and A are doing well. D is half-way done with summer school and hopefully by the end she will test on the next level and be able to go to the next grade in the fall. A is learning to talk and it's so fun to watch him learn and grow.

Like I said, our lives are crazy busy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

~until~

5 Years!

I can't believe that 5 years ago today we were getting married. The last 5 years have totally flown by. I'm so glad that God chose Jonathan to be my husband. He has been the most amazing husband a girl could ask for. I don't think that I can even begin to describe all of the wonderful things he does for me and our family. Over the last 5 years we have been married and even the 2 years before that he has supported me through some of the most difficult things I have ever done. First medical school where I studied a lot and was always stressed out, him working long hours to support us. Then the last 3 years of residency where I have worked on average 80 hours per week every week. The last 2 years he has been a stay at home husband/dad/nanny and he as been a huge blessing to me. I always knew he would make an amazing daddy, and I was right. When we got our first foster kids and every set since, he is so good with them and shows them what a Godly husband and father should be. I can't imagine my life without him and can't wait to spend the rest of it with him.

On to our foster kids. D and A had court on Wednesday. They will be going to live with their grandmother as soon as she has an approved home study. If it isn't before June 22, then that is our next court date. However, we don't have to wait for the court date for them to be able to go to grandma. I'm glad they aren't being split up and that they have the opportunity to go to grandma's. I kind of want them to stay to the end of the month so that D can finish summer school and be ready for next year but I know that it's good for them to be with family and that she will go back to first grade in the fall instead of second grade if she isn't living with us. They are doing wonderfully and are a joy to be around. I've loved having them here with us and we will miss them when they are gone.

Residency graduation ceremony is next weekend. I can't believe that it is already here. Then Jonathan and I are going to Seattle on vacation! I can't wait to take a vacation with him and get to celebrate the end of the past 7 years of hard work.

~until~

Frustrations

Sometimes with foster care comes frustrations. Our kiddos have been with us for about 3 weeks now. Their first court date was supposed to be last Wednesday, it got moved to today because one of the dad's and the mom requested a lawyer and court can't be held without the lawyer present. Today at court one of the dad's said he wasn't happy with his lawyer and therefore requests a new one, which caused court to be moved to 2 weeks from now. This is getting ridiculous. These kids need answers. They deserve timeliness. We did find out that a grandma is trying to get a homestudy done as well as some family members of D's dad's. If they put her with those family members her and A would be split up which I personally think is a very bad idea. She doesn't know life without her baby brother and he doesn't know life without his big sister. They would be heartbroken and it wouldn't be a healthy situation. Our job as foster parents is to take care of them and love them until they can be returned to family. But our job is to also advocate for them and I just think it would be wrong to split them up. Their lives have already been turned upside down once, why make it worse? I know that the judge doesn't want a kid in foster care if they don't have to be, and I agree, but if it means splitting siblings up I think it's better for them to stay together. They need stability.

Ok, off my soapbox now. Court is now June 1, hopefully it will actually happen this time.

~until~

The End of a Month, A New Set of Kids

Well, my crazy month on the hospital service is over. Tomorrow I begin an elective rotation with much better hours. I also now only have 60 days left of residency! The thought of being a Pediatric Hospitalist is both exciting and terrifying at the same time.

We got two new kids Thirsday night. We went basically a month between placements this time. D turned 7 two days before coming to our house. A turns 2 next week. D told us she was supposed to have a party on Saturday so we made a cake together, let her open a few presents and took her to the lake to play. All in all I think it was a good birthday and she had fun.

Today we went to church and to the pool for a little while. A cold front started coming trough and the temperature dropped really fast, making getting out of the pool quite chilly.

We are enjoying getting to know these two little ones that God had brought into our lives.

~until~

Sobering Perspective

Sobering perspective is what my job has given me lately. I'm a pediatric resident and I'm used to taking care of really sick little kids. This week I learned that maybe we are a little too used to it. Usually kids come in with a variety of illnesses, we do what we have been trained to do, and they get better and go home, happy and healthy once again. However, we have had multiple small children pass away in the past few weeks from freak illnesses that ran rampant through their little bodies and nothing we could do would stop it. It's sobering to know that a previously perfectly healthy kid could show up to the hospital and have passed away not even 12 hours later. It just goes to show that God is in charge and we just happen to be his workers. This also makes you have a different perspective on life. Life can change in the blink of an eye, so what am I doing to make my life count? What am I doing to show that there is a God and that His plan is so much better than my own? Makes you think, huh?

My friends at work think I'm crazy. Maybe I am a little crazy. I work on average 80 hours per week. Jonathan and I are foster parents. I have a dream to start an organization to help teen moms. I'm about to embark on my first "real" job in a few short months. We are still going through infertility treatments. I've been thinking of adopting a child with special needs from another country. Maybe all of this makes me crazy. I'm ok with being a little crazy. I believe I'm just doing what God wants me to do. Once again, it kind of turns back to perspective. I believe that the reason I am on this earth is to help people. I have been given talents and gifts that not a lot of other people have in the grand scheme of things. I have been put in a position of authority and prestige simply because of my occupation and I believe that I should use it to help impact the world. One of my friends says that I fly by the seat of my pants. It's sort of true. I've learned to just go with things, do what I think needs to be done, and figure some things out as I go. I'm glad that my friend appreciates me for who I am. These last few weeks have really made me appreciate my friends, husband, and family. You never know when something can change. 

We still don't have any foster children. It's been almost 3 weeks and I miss having little ones around. I know God has the perfect kids out there waiting for us and for the right time for them to come into our lives. Until then I will enjoy the time I get to spend alone with Jonathan. 

~until~

No Children = Calm and Quiet

Baby B went to her family on Tuesday like we expected. I'm glad that she is with her family and getting to see her big sister more but I'm sad she is gone. I miss her cute smile and laugh. She used to get so excited to see me when I got home from work. Now that Baby B is gone we can say yes to our agency again about new kids. We will be able to take kids Tuesday of next week.

On a different topic, I have only 90 days of residency remaining. I won't even be working for all of those 90 days. I am planning on taking a 2 week vacation just before I graduate so I can relax before I start my job on July 5th. It's so weird to think that my official training is coming to an end. I have been in post-high school training for 11 years now (wow, that's insane) and it's odd to know that in a few months I will be "on my own" as a doctor. I can't wait to start my job as a Pediatric Hospitalist here at Scott & White, but I'm also nervous about my change in roles and how I'm going to handle being a "boss" to my friends. I will also be responsible for teaching the residents and medical students which will be interesting since I feel like I still have so much to learn.

This month I am on what we as doctors refer to as "the wards". This means I'm working only in the hospital taking care of general pediatric patients that are there. It's actually what I will be doing for the rest of my life as a hospitalist. I love this rotation and it feels like "home" to me. The odd part is that I will not have a 2nd year resident to assist me this month like we normally do and I will only have 2 interns instead of 3. This is going to make for a very hectic and stressful month for all residents involved. I'm going into it with the mentality that it is testing me for my career that starts in 3 short months.

Time for bed. I have to be at work super early tomorrow.

~until~

Saying No ... actually means not right now

We have been saying "No" a lot lately. Our foster care agency has called us almost every other day in the last 2 weeks trying to place other children with us. We still have Baby B and likely will until at least Tuesday when she has court. Every time they have called about other children we have had to say no. It breaks our hearts to turn down children in need of a home. We have plenty of love to give but one thing we've  learned in this journey is that we can't do it all. We are licensed for up to 4 children and we have beds to fit 4 children. However, we don't have vehicles that can hold that many car seats. Jonathan is also a "nanny" for a 2 year old who is at our house all the time. This means if they placed 4 kids with us we would really have 5. The majority of the children they called about this week were under the age of 3 and were sibling groups of 2. We have room in our home and in our hearts for them but going anywhere, including doctors and family visits, would be impossible if Jonathan had to do it alone. Since my job isn't very flexible with time off and taking off to go to appointments this means we had to say no. We have told our agency that we will be willing to take 1 more child that sits in a car seat and can take 2 if one of them is old enough to ride in the front seat, at least until B goes back to her family.

Baby B's situation is the one time in all of the children we have had where I feel like the system is actually working the way it is supposed to. She has a grandmother who is trying to be approved to have Baby B come live with her. Baby B's big sister already lives there so I know she will be taken care of and loved. With S&K things seemed to work until they were sent with a family member who didn't have a home study and showed up the day of court saying she would take them. From what was said in court on her job and where she lived I'm not sure how they could approve her in less than 2 hours for 3 extra children to go live at her house. Then came the 3C's. Their situation is the one that still infuriates me. We had actually been told by CPS and our Ad-litem that they were going to push to terminate parents rights. Then the initial court date arrived and after 4 hours of talking about it the judge decided to send them back with their parents so that they could move to another state for dad's job. I don't understand why the judge would send them back to their parents when their parents hadn't been taking care of them and the children had been removed multiple times previously. They say that CPS will be following them in their new state but we all know that things fall through the cracks and that the CPS workers are way over worked. This family actually has CPS cases open in multiple states and instead of the judge saying that they should find a foster placement where they were going and move foster care to foster care they were returned to their parents. It doesn't make sense to us. We pray every day that they are being fed, know they are loved, and are being kept safe. I know that God is bigger than all of this and that he has a plan for us and for those beautiful children. However, I still often times find myself thinking of them and missing their sweet faces.

The foster care journey so far has been fun, sad, tiring, exciting, and rewarding, sometimes all at the same time. I'm so glad that God has put us on this path and that He knows exactly where the path leads. We will continue walking and following Him wherever that may be. I will miss Baby B and her laugh when she leaves but I know that God has other children that he wants to touch our lives with and have us love on, be it for a short time or forever, I'm excited either way. I'm ready to be able to tell our agency "yes" again.

~until~