Thankful!

Yay for the month of November and the celebration of Thanksgiving. I have been writing on my facebook page every day something I am thankful for. I know that we should be thankful besides the month of November, and believe me, I am, but it's been fun to think of something every day that I am thankful for. Sometimes it's the beautiful weather, sometimes a friend or sibling, sometimes for the country which we live in, and often times for my fabulous husband. Something else I am thankful for is the word of God and the ability to attend a church and worship freely.

Thanksgiving is a few days away. We celebrated this past weekend with my family because originally I thought I had to work on Thursday. One of my attendings was nice enough to give us Thursday off, so we will be making the trek back to Dallas Thursday to spend Thanksgiving with Jonathan's family. I love Thanksgiving food. You know the kind of food I'm talking about: Ham, Turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, green beans, jalepeno cream corn, and of course pies. YUM! One good thing about having 2 different Thanksgivings is that they are a few days apart and I will be able to fully enjoy the food both times. This past weekend we had a blast at my sister's house with my family. They recently bought a pool table and ping-pong table and we spent a lot of time playing Ping-pong. Brought back memories from college when we would play in the student center between classes. We also went to see Harry Potter and we LOVED it. It was wonderful to get to spend so much time with my mom, dad, siblings, grandma, nieces and nephew. It will be nice to get to spend the day on Thursday with Jonathan's family.

I am also thankful to have our home study set up. It is so exciting to be so close to having kids in our home. Our home study was originally set up for 2 1/2 weeks from now but because of some schedule changes we changed to one week from today! This weekend while I'm working nights Jonathan will have to clean house and get a few things organized. On Friday we are going to set up our Christmas tree and decorate for Christmas. Hopefully I can sleep some at the hospital on call so I can help on Saturday and Sunday. We are  so close to the end, it's unbelievable. We do still need about 35 hours of observation time still but we can get everything else done before that.

I'll post the pictures my sister took of us this past weekend as soon as I get them from her. They turned out great!

I hope everyone has a safe and Happy Thanksgiving!

~until~

Home Study!

Today we set up our Home Study! We are getting so close to being licensed. We are very excited about getting this next process done.

~until~

Fall is HERE!

Fall has officially arrived in Central Texas. In October we had a few cool nights and cool days but it warmed back up pretty quickly. However for the last week or so it's been beautiful outside. I've noticed the leaves have really started changing colors the last week or so and I love it! We have been leaving our windows open all day and at night, meaning it gets quite cold in here in the mornings, but that's ok by me.

Fall means different things to different people and brings new happenings depending on what you are involved in. Let me explain what I mean: For some it brings the start of Basketball or football. For some it brings the first snow. For me it brings a few things this year. Fall is when we interview for our next years residency class. These are the people that will start on July 1st and be here for 3 years. The current residents are very involved in the interviewing process. This is important to us. It is who the current 1st and 2nd years will work with. For the 3rd years it doesn't impact us quite as much but for me I still feel a sense of responsibility in helping to choose the people that are best for our program. I love it here! I love our program, my fellow residents, my staff, and my hospital. I want what is best for them, which means I want the best of the best for our future residents. During interview "season" we have a pre-interview social at one of the resident's houses once a week. We have had this social at my house 2 times this year. We usually serve dinner to those interviewing as well as the current residents who are here to interact with those interviewing. This allows us to get to know them in an informal way and lets them be more comfortable asking us questions. I really enjoy going to these socials because I get to hang out with good friends and meet lots of neat people.

Something else this fall brought is a job interview for myself. I interviewed today for a Pediatric Hospitalist position here. A pediatric hospitalist is basically a general pediatrician that only takes care of children in the hospital. I don't like working in the clinic so this is perfect for me. Interviewing here was a little odd since I'm already a resident and everyone already knows me. It was basically a way for me to get to ask questions about the future of the Children's Hospital (the new one is currently being built), salary, benefits, and transitioning to a new "role". Like I said, I love it here and would love to stay here for a long time. Jonathan also really likes living here and we have made some wonderful friends. I should find out soon if I got the job.

One other thing this fall brings for us is observation hours. We attended our first Family Link Retreat this past Sunday in Austin. Our foster care agency (Family Link Kids) has a retreat once a month for families in the agency to get together for support, fellowship and training. It allows all of the foster/adopted kids and biological kids to interact with each other. This is also an opportunity for future parents, ie: us, to get some of our observation hours. We got 4 of our 40 hours this weekend. Basically, what happens is that when families with foster children arrive those children are left in the care of future parents and volunteers so that the foster parents can attend training and interact with the other foster parents. We were given a baby who was about a year old and a little girl who was 3. We had a lot of fun playing with the children and getting to know some of the future parents.

Thanksgiving is just around the corner and I can't wait. We have lots of fun plans with our families coming up. This weekend we are off to Rockwall to my sister and brother-in-laws house. Thanksgiving with my family is on Sunday. It will be fun to hang out with my siblings for the weekend and just have fun. My sister has taken up photography and is going to take some new pictures of me and Jonathan so maybe I can update our photos on here. Then on Wednesday night we are going back to Dallas to have Thanksgiving with Jonathan's family on Thursday afternoon. Should be a week full of fun and food. I hope to put up our Christmas tree sometime in the next week or so!

~until~

PS: to my friend in Dubai, I miss you :)

Patience...it is a virtue....

The foster care process is taking us longer than we would have hoped. 40 hours of observation is a lot and with my schedule for the next 2 months it's going to be hard to do. I'm sure we can get some of it done but probably not all of it before Christmas. It makes me sad to think that the kids that God has for us won't be here for Christmas but maybe it's because they aren't ready for our home yet.

New month = new rotation in residency land, which is where I live for the next 240 days :) I am on NICU this month and I hate that place. The NICU makes me incredibly sad.  These babies are born so early or so sick and sometimes both and often don't have very good outcomes. It also makes me sad because there are lots of babies in the NICU because of their mom's decisions while she was pregnant. Smoking Crack is not good for a baby and often times ends in premature birth and very sick children. That is just one example. All I can do is pray that these little ones will stay as healthy as possible and that the amazing doctors that take care of them will do what is best. The doctors and nurses in the NICU are there of their own kind. They are obviously called and designed for the work they do and for that I am grateful.

I've lately had some sad days. I don't tell you this to make you feel sorry for me or feel bad. I tell you this because I want you to understand. I don't think anyone truly understands unless they have been there but sometimes it's nice to hear it from the horse's mouth per say. I've been sad because lots of people I know and am fairly close to are pregnant. It's not just that they are pregnant. It's that it seems to have happened overnight and everyone got pregnant within like 3 months of each other without really trying. Sometimes it's hard to stomach that we have tried for over 2 years and still haven't been pregnant and they try 1 month and poof-a baby. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy for them. All of them will make great parents, and one already is a wonderful mom, it's just I don't always understand the reasoning behind it and it makes me sad. I tell Jonathan all the time that being a Mom is what I want most in this world. I would give up everything to be a mom. I know that all things are in God's timing. I know this, yet sometimes I still long for what I've been dreaming of my whole life. I also know that maybe it's because there are little ones out there that need us as their foster parents first. Who knows what God's plan is but I have to trust that it is perfect. I also know that God doesn't get mad when I get upset because it seems as if everyone around me is getting to be a mom and I'm still in the shadows, waiting my turn. Like the title says: patience is a virtue....I am still learning this very lesson.

That was random, but it's all for now.

~until~

ps: the dog in the previous post is still up for adoption, he needs a good home :)

Dog for Adoption

I need my blog friends help, or anyone you may happen to know. My little sister has been fostering a dog for the last 6 months. She got him from the Leo Rescue and he needs a new home. Here is what she wrote about him and a picture. If you or anyone you know is interested please let me know.

We started fostering Koda a little over 6 months ago for Leonberger Rescue. Anyone interested will have to fill out an application with Leo Rescue.

Koda will be 4 yrs old in December. He is very tall, but also very skinny. We can't seem to put much weight on him; he currently weighs in around 100 pounds.

Koda is probably one of the sweetest must loving dogs you will ever come in contact with. He is a big cuddle bug, he is always trying to get in everyone’s lap. He is great on a leash and loves most other dogs. He currently goes to day care everyday and gets along with dogs of all sizes. In fact the staff often tells us that all the small dogs love Koda and tend to lay on his fur and tail.

Due to Koda's past he does have a few things that need work. He has some separation anxiety tendencies. He doesn't do well with crates, so crating is more than likely not an option without extensive training. Due to the anxiety he does sometimes have accidents in the house when left alone. He also was a little destructive at first and took the liberty of chomping a few door knobs. The good news is that all of these things have improved over the past 6 months. He hardly ever has accidents anymore and hasn't been destructive at all.
Koda was also not exposed to children; therefore he would do better in a home without small children. He does great with my 4 yr old nieces, but has shown fear to other children of similar age. He does great with all adults, including strangers and men. 
If anyone interested has any questions please feel free to ask.


Thanks for the help. Another blog post to come soon.


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A "Fair" Weekend!

This past weekend was a blast. We went to Dallas Friday night. Friday we ate dinner with Jonathan's mom and then went to my sister's house in Rockwall and played Ping Pong until way too late. Saturday morning came early and we enjoyed some garage sale shopping (where I found a changing table in excellent shape for $10), shopping at Macy's, Sonic Happy Hour and then headed to the State Fair. I haven't been to the state fair in about 6 years. The last time I went was with 2 great roommates to see a Brad Paisley concert and it was pouring down rain. This time we went to meander, hang with my family, and eat fried food. Here's a list of the foods we ate, but we shared most of it with each other: Tater twisters with cheese (kind of a cross between a french fry and potato chips), Fletcher's Corn Dog, fried frito pie, fried s'mores, sausage on a stick, cotton candy, funnel cake, fried cheesecake. Now we can all have a heart attack. After the fair Jonathan and I headed back to his Mom's house to hang out with them some more. We spent most of the day Sunday with his Mom, which was fun. I've been on "vacation" this week. It's been more like a "staycation" but I don't care. Sleeping in, lounging around, not having anything in particular that needs to be done has been fabulous and I'll be sad wen Monday comes along. Today I got a hair cut, actually I got about 4 inches cut off, so now my hair is pretty short but really cute :). Today I also tried my hand at making a changing pad cover that matches the "little kid" room decor. It turned out pretty cute. I'll have to take pictures of the kids rooms and post them on here sometime. Tonight we are having a pre-interview social at a friends house. Last Thursday it was at my house and there were about 25 people there. This week I volunteered to make the desserts since my friend who is hosting said "I'm a disaster in the kitchen". I made cookies and cream cheesecake and a 4 layer delight. Should be tasty. Tomorrow I'm going to finish my application for my future job, work on my supporting documents for my Texas Medical License, catch up on some laundry and hopefully just lounge around the house.

The last cycle of meds I took worked but I didn't get pregnant. We have decided to take a break for a few months and in the spring start back up. I need an emotional and physical break from the hormones and disappointment when the tests are negative. This will also give us more time and energy to focus on our foster care plans. We are hoping to be licensed by Thanksgiving, which means we need to get busy with our observation hours and scheduling our home study. I can't imagine how amazing Christmas will be this year with children in our home to share it with.

~until~

Ramblings.....

So it stormed here tonight. The kind with lightning streaking across the sky, my favorite. It always reminds me of a summer when I was a kid. We were at Lake Texoma with my family, somewhere we went often as kids. A summer storm was coming. My dad loaded all the kids in the car and drove us out to the end of the road. Somewhere where there were no lights, no people, nothing. Just us, the lake, the bluffs, and the trees. We sat in the car and watched the lightning for what seemed like hours. It was almost magical. We would see how many streaks would come off a bolt and what color it would make the sky and clouds. It makes me smile just to think about it. Life was simple then. No cares. Your dad in the car to "protect you". I still love to watch thunderstorms roll in and would be sad to live somewhere where there weren't storms. I love the sound of the lightning cracking and the thunder rolling.

I wonder why I get more upset when I learn of one person being pregnant than when I learn of someone else. People I know pretty equally well. Hmmm?

I'm starting to get frustrated with the foster care process. It seems like every time I think we are nearing the end something else comes up that needs to be done. Why do they have to make it so difficult to be a foster parent? I mean, we are willing to take in other peoples children, children likely to have emotional, and sometimes physical injuries and yet they make it incredibly difficult to be a foster parent. I know that they are trying to ensure that these fragile children are placed in safe and secure homes, but some of it seems a little ridiculous. Oh well, we will jump through all the hoops and hopefully be done before Thanksgiving.

I just want to be a mom.....

~until~