3 Months and The Memorial Service

3 months without you here. Somedays it seems like a lifetime, some days like it was just yesterday. I miss you everyday and think about you all the time. I think about how big I would be right now, 34 weeks pregnant. I think about what we would be doing this summer. Instead we are planning vacation for the week you were due and planning to paint the living room instead of a nursery. You have made me such a better person. I am so thankful for you and your life. I only wish you were here with us but I know that you are in such a better place. I love you sweet baby boy, always have and always will.

Grant's Memorial Service:
This is mainly to help me remember his service one day, I don't want to forget anything about him, so if it's jumbled, my apologies. It's weird, I remember everything with such clarity on the day we found out about his diagnosis, the second ultrasound, the day we went in to be induced and the day he was born. Those days all seemed to go by in slow motion. The day of his service was different though. It seemed to fly by. I remember most of that day with clarity, but some is already beginning to fade, like what was said, and I want to always remember.

April 21, 2012. 2pm. First Baptist Church, Belton, TX.

It was a beautiful day. Sunny and warm. It was a day just like the day he was born, it made me smile. The day we learned of his diagnosis it was storming and cold, it stormed that entire weekend, 3 days of rain. The day he was born it was beautiful spring weather and the day we celebrated his life was beautiful spring weather. His service was beautiful and perfect. (I used beautiful there a lot, oh well) Our pastor from our church we attended before we moved here drove down to perform the service. It was so special to us to have him do this. He was the one that married us and he was the one that Jonathan grew up in the church under. Randy Weeaks, we love you and so appreciate what you did for us. Since we had Grant cremated and we had his service almost a month after he was born we had time to really plan. I created a guest book on shutterfly that included maternity pictures and pictures of Grant as well as a letter I wrote to him from Jonathan and I. My sister made an amazing slide show of Grant's life. Jonathan and I chose the music to play before, during and after the service. We ordered balloons to release at the end and had people write notes on them. My sister actually had a brilliant idea to have people write notes on large address labels and stick them to the balloons, worked wonderfully! We placed some of Grant's things at the front of the church with 2 pictures. His blanket that my aunt made, his footprint impressions and card from the hospital, his monkey, and a Bible that my Mom had bought him.

Our church has been so supportive and loving during this. They had lunch prepared for us before the service so that our family could have lunch without having to worry about where to eat on the way here and so we would have time together. The sound guys did an amazing job with the music timing and volume. I love how softly it was playing when we walked into the church, but just loud enough to hear the words. I was really anxious about his service. I wanted it to be absolutely perfect. We had picked out music to play while people where showing up and before the family entered the sanctuary. The last 2 songs on that list were Glory Baby by Watermark and I Will Carry You by Selah. The last verse of I Will Carry You was playing when we walked into the sanctuary, perfect timing. I love that song. It conveys so well how I feel. The songs before that were SEE by Stephen Curtis Chapman, Blessings by Laura Story and The Hurt and The Healer by Mercy Me. Right after we were seated we played Beauty Will Rise by Stephen Curtis Chapman. It is by far one of my favorite songs. I love the emotion behind it but more importantly I love the lyrics and how incredibly true they are. Here is a you tube video of the song.

After the song was played our pastor said some things about us and Grant. I wish I had it recorded to remember exactly what was said, but I do remember that every word spoken was truth, and some even caused some laughter. We then had Randy read a letter I had written to Grant from Jonathan and I. After the letter we had a slide show of Grant's life that my sister put together. Have I mentioned how amazing she is? Here is the you tube video of his slide show. The music is Gone Too Soon by Daughtry. 

When the slide show ended Randy spoke again, this time a little about Grant and our love for him, but mostly about how amazing heaven will be and how we will see Grant again. He even spoke about what Grant's name means (Great) and how much greater Grant will be in Heaven. When the service was over we played Praise You In The Storm by Casting Crowns and Our God Is In Control by Stephen Curtis Chapman while people were writing the notes and taking their balloons. Once again, perfect timing as Our God Is In Control ended as Jonathan and I left the Sanctuary as the last people to leave. We walked outside and together released the balloons. It was so beautiful to watch them float away, mixing together, flying high on the wind. It was a beautiful day to celebrate our baby boy's life and I am so glad that we had the chance to do so.