Lets Be Honest.....I Don't Love It

Warning: Talk of breastfeeding involved. Don't continue if you don't want to read about it :)

I love, love, love being a mom. I love sweet baby cuddles, smiles, giggles and squeals. She is precious and perfect and I wouldn't trade this for anything. What do I not love then? Breastfeeding/pumping. I really really wanted to, but I don't. I actually despise pumping. I can't wait until she is no longer taking breast milk. I want to give her breast milk until 1 yr, that has been my goal. I don't hate breastfeeding as much as pumping but I don't love it. I like that it's our quiet time. Only me and her. I don't like how she has a terrible latch (always has) and that I still have to use a nipple shield. I don't like that she is super distractible so what should take15 minutes takes 30 and instead of it being a relaxing experience I am always having to try to get her attention again to get her to re-latch. I'm sure some will say that I should enjoy this because I'll miss it when it's over, and you know what, maybe I will. I've learned to never say never when it comes to parenting. I may miss our early morning sessions where she is still sleepy and looks at me and smiles. I know that I most likely won't miss being attached to a machine for 15 minutes at a time every 4-6 hours when I can't breastfeed.

Squeaky Clean

I can't get over how adorable she is :)

Gospel Community...Being More Transparent

Church this morning was AMAZING. It was all about community. Why we need it and how it should look. I stole our pastors phrase...gospel community. It means making our church look like the community that God has in mind. Rich, poor, educated, uneducated, outgoing, introverted all fellowshiping together, being a community. This means that we rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. We support each other through burdens and hard times. We pray for each other, encourage each other and speak truth to each other. While he was preaching I was thinking about our COM group (small group) that we have recently joined. We have begun making friends in this group and are enjoying getting to know them. However, as he was talking about how we should be more transparent in our COM groups, in order to allow us to really be a gospel community, I was thinking about how most of our group doesn't really know about Grant. One couple already knew Grant's story. I used to work with her and we were friends before we started going to church there. However, only 1 or 2 more girls in the group know about him. It's not because we aren't proud of him. I think it's because we don't want to burden others with the sadness of a baby dying. The look that people give you when you say your baby died is heartbreaking and we aren't always open about it. We need to be though. I was talking with my friend Melinda (who is in our COM group and knows about Grant) after church today about this. I think the next time our group gets together we will share Grant's story. The whole story. These are our friends, fellow believers, those who are supposed to be there to support and love us, they should know about our first born, our son.

I've been thinking about Grant a great deal more lately than normal. I think about him every day but most of the time it's a short thought as I see his picture on our wall or see his nose on Amelia. Sometimes I think more as I rock her and pray before bed or when I see a little boy that would be about his age. As his second birthday is approaching I've thought about him more. I've thought about how I want to celebrate him for his birthday, how I want people to remember him. I'm still working on what I would like to do for his birthday but I'm sure I will figure something out that will honor him and celebrate him. First, I will share his life with our friends.

1st Christmas

This year I was lucky and had the ENTIRE week of Christmas off! It was amazing to be able to spend her first Christmas in Dallas with our families. It was a crazy busy week but we enjoyed it and were thankful for the time we had with family. We were then thankful that we got to sleep in our own beds when we got back :) We started our week off by going to my Memaw's 80th birthday party/family Christmas party. Amelia got to meet family members for the first time and it was nice being able to celebrate my Memaw. The next day we went with my Mom to take my Memaw home and then we went to my Aunt's house and Amelia got to be cuddled by more family members she had never met. I hadn't seen my Aunts in a long time so it was nice to see them and visit for a while. Amelia loved the attention cause she's rotten like that. Monday, yes Monday (2 days before Christmas), Jonathan and I took my Dad Christmas shopping. Oh! What an adventure that was. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were full of Christmas activities with our families. The only problem with everyone living in Dallas is everyone doesn't really live in Dallas. The DFW metroplex is HUGE and it's about an hour and fifteen minutes between my families house and Jonathan's families house. Makes for lots of car time. Thankfully, Amelia is a trooper in the car and did great both days. Thursday we hung out with my Mom and Friday we headed home! We left most of Amelia's gifts at my Mom's house. No room in the car with us, our stuff and our 2 dogs. We will have to get her presents later. Good thing she's too young to know! We also spent a great deal of December in our numerous Christmas outfits and made a trip to see Santa.

I like to eat my reindeer.

Oh Christmas Tree

Me and my birthday buddy/betrothed :)

Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas

Not Amused

Christmas Jammies

Cousin Maddi and Amelia

Cousin Kenzie and Amelia

More Christmas Jammies- Christmas Eve

Afternoon Nap on Christmas Day

Memaw and Amelia- 80 and 4 months

Merry Christmas from the Bybee Family

4 months...A Little Late

My baby girl is 4 months old! I really, really, really need time to slow down. Tonight I was loading pictures onto our computer from my phone and Oh..My..Goodness she has grown and changed so much. I can't believe how big she is. Here are her stats and what she is up to now.

Weight: 14lbs 6oz (75%)
Height: 25 inches (75%)
LOVES: playing on her play-mat and in her jumper, her Daddy, bottles and her fingers, baths
HATES: naps, nursing when she is tired, really hungry or it's after 3pm
SLEEPING: 11-12 hours each night (7pm-7am). about 3 15-30 min naps per day
EATING: 4oz every 2 hours when awake. Sometimes takes 6-7 oz before bed or late in the afternoon.

It's really funny that she now prefers a bottle over nursing since she hated them so much in the beginning. She especially wants them when she is really tired, hungry or it's getting later in the evening. She still nurses willingly first thing in the morning which is nice because I HATE pumping. She has outgrown her colic, actually she outgrew that at about 12 weeks. She goes to bed in her own bed around 7pm every night and prefers to be laid down awake and left alone. She hates to take naps during the day and fights it as much as possible. I may try black out curtains in her room. She started laughing 2 days after she turned 3 months old and it is the most adorable sound ever. She now "talks" all the time and tried to help preach today at church. She learned to roll from her tummy to her back on December 10, sat up without help for the first time on December 20 (when she turned 4 months old) and rolled from her back to her tummy on December 30. Today she learned how to turn in circles while on her tummy and is trying to figure out how to scoot on her belly. I'm not ready for her to be mobile! She sucks on her two middle fingers on her right hand to put herself to sleep and sometimes "talks" herself to sleep. She is the sweetest thing in the world and I don't know what I would do without her.

 

Yes I'm sitting on a table at McAllister's. When You learn to sit you have to show off!

Favorite sight ever!

Sitting up chatting with my Grant bear.

First Thanksgiving!

We enjoyed our week of Thanksgiving. My mom was able to be here for the whole week, which was AMAZING! It was so much fun to have her here and spending time with us and Amelia. She cooked us lots of delicious food and we just chilled by the fire for a few days. It was COLD the first part of the week. Jonathan's family was supposed to come down the Sunday before Thanksgiving but because there was a chance of ice and it was so cold we decided to cancel. The biggest bummer was that it didn't end up icing at all and we could have still had our Thanksgiving, oh well, better to be safe than have people stranded or in car accidents. Since we didn't eat the food for that day we decided to have a friend Thanksgiving on Wednesday night. We also took a Thanksgiving meal to a family in need on Wednesday. Thursday we did a whole lot of nothing until that night when my mom and I braved the crowds and went shopping. Friday morning my mom and Jonathan went shopping while I stayed home with Amelia. We got a few gifts but most of our stuff we ordered online. Friday we also went and bought Amelia's first Christmas tree. She wore her Christmas shirt on Friday and then on Saturday we had Thanksgiving with our family so she wore her Thanksgiving shirt. Maybe a little backwards but it was fun! Before we could eat on Saturday Jonathan, my brother and my brother-in-law put the Christmas lights on our house, they are beautiful. We ate lots of delicious food and enjoyed spending time with each other. I really enjoyed my family being at our house and not having to drive for this holiday. Here are some pictures of Amelia in her Thanksgiving outfit. It was truly a day to be thankful for.

Not too thrilled with mom taking my picture

Halloween 2013

Amelia's first Halloween was so much fun. We went to the pumpkin patch and a couple of church Trunk or Treats. One for our church and one with a friend. Amelia was dressed up as Minion from Despicable Me and was adorable. Jonathan was dressed up as Gru. I was going to be Margo but the plan I had for a skirt didn't work out and then I didn't have time to make one from scratch. I had so much fun making Amelia's hat and Jonathan's scarf though. I can't wait until next Halloween when we will dress up as a family again. I love themed costumes!