Preparing for Change...Returning to Work

My maternity leave will soon be ending. I have been so blessed to have these past few months. I will have taken 10 1/2 weeks off since her birth and I was off the week before she was born because that's how my schedule happened to fall. This means I haven't worked in almost 12 weeks. Yikes! I miss work. I miss using my brain and helping sick kids. However, I love being with her all day every day. Yes, there are times when I just want a few minutes without a baby on my lap (or nursing :) ) but for the most part when I am away from her I miss her. Since I am soon returning to work Jonathan and I have started trying to get her used to me being gone. In my 2 month post I put that she hates bottles, it's because she does. She HATES them. She will drink from one if she is hungry but she usually gives you a look while she does it. We find it hilarious that she seems to look at us and say with her eyes "seriously, you think this is the same as my mom?"

I work nights. Amelia has colic, worse at night. Can you see how this may not be a good thing? At least when both of us are home we can share the burden on a bad night. Amelia usually doesn't go to bed until 11 or 11:30. She does sleep until 6 or 6:30 almost every morning though. This week we have started trying to have Jonathan put her down every other night (the nights when he doesn't have class early the next day). The first couple of times he did this she went to bed a little later than normal and fussed more than normal but he succeeded and seemed to be no worse for the wear. NOT the case for last night! Last night she didn't go to sleep until 4:15am! Jonathan came and woke me up at 2:45 and told me it was my turn. For some reason she just didn't want to sleep. She would fall asleep in his arms for 10-15 minutes and when he laid her down her eyes would pop wide open and she would cry and cry and cry. I nursed her at 2:50 and tried to put her down at 3:20. No luck. She wanted to look at me and smile and coo. She nursed again at about 4 and finally fell asleep at 4:15 and let me put her down. She was awake at 8:30! We will continue working on getting her to go to bed at night without nursing. This is going to be a struggle. She is one stubborn little girl :) Please pray for our sanity over the next few weeks as we continue to work on getting her used to me not being around all the time. It is hard for her, hard for me, and hard for Jonathan. I'm going to miss her sweetness when I am working. For a little bit of humor after a long night we put her in a shirt that says "I'm a cotton headed ninnymuggins".

I know this is just for a "season" and that it will get better, but it is so hard to see your baby sad and know that you can help but shouldn't because it will just make things worse later.

I love this little girl and am blessed to be her mom!