Answers

Thursday May 24, 2 months and 1 day after saying goodbye to Grant, we went to the geneticist to get the results of his tests and autopsy. We chose to have these done so we could possibly have answers as to a cause of his severe oligohydramnios (lack of amniotic fluid) and see if there was a chance for it recurring in future pregnancies. Our Geneticist is amazing. I work with her quite often and her bedside manner and empathy are wonderful. She actually came to examine Grant the day he was born and ordered all of the tests so our appointment was only to discuss the results. We learned that Grant had normal chromosomes and no gene defects. This means that there isn't a genetic cause for what happened, which is good. It means that the chances of it happening again are the same as it happening the first time. His autopsy confirmed what his ultrasounds showed us. He had severe oligohydraminos on ultrasound with a distended bladder and enlarged kidneys. He also had only 1 umbilical artery (which can sometimes correlate with renal issues). His autopsy showed that his kidneys were normally formed but slightly distended from urine back up. His bladder was very distended and thickened from being stretched so much. There wasn't a bladder outlet, meaning no way for urine to leave his body. While he was forming something didn't form correctly from his bladder to the outside of his body. Urine makes up most of the amniotic fluid so since it wasn't getting out he didn't have any. Amniotic fluid helps make lungs. His lungs on autopsy were only about 1/4-1/5 of the size they should have been for his gestational age. All of this together equals him having something called Prune Belly Syndrome. The chances of having a baby with this are 1/40,000-1/50,000. These odds don't seem all that high to me now but obviously it's pretty rare. Not all children with Prune Belly Syndrome have such severe oligohydramnios and some are able to survive pregnancy and outside of the womb. Grant however would have never made it. His lungs wouldn't have developed much more and he wouldn't have been able to breathe. Getting the results of his tests actually brought a sense of peace and closure.

Knowing that he didn't have a genetic cause makes me a little more comfortable deciding to try again. However, I'm still really scared. 1/40,000 odds are pretty good, unless you have already been the 1/40,000 and then it feels like 1/1 odds. Lots of moms and dads who have lost babies know how we feel as we embark on this journey to try again. I've lost the innocence of pregnancy. I know that if we ever get pregnant again I am most likely going to have a hard time being really excited until after my big ultrasound. This makes me sad. I loved being pregnant with Grant, even early on when I had morning sickness, but I'm afraid my next pregnancy is going to be covered with fear until I know things are ok. I'm also scared that it is going to take us another 3 years to get pregnant, but hopefully not. Hopefully things will go a little faster this time and we can soon welcome a healthy baby into our home.