Long days and longer nights

I have been on night float recently. In residency we do a couple of months where we do 2 week stretches of nights. These are 14-15 hour shifts In the hospital and they get old really fast. This is also the first time I've been on night float and a mom which makes it even worse. Its hard to sleep well during the day and it's harder when the baby is crying. You also want to spend time with your husband and baby and you cant because you need to sleep. I only have 3 more nights after tonight and then I am done with night float forever!

Our new foster baby B is doing well. She is super cute and fun to be around. She had visitation with her parents on Wednesday and her first court date is next Tuesday. Jonathan and I are pretty sure that she will be going to a family member on Tuesday. Her grandmother came with her mom for visitation so I'm sure she will probably go to grandma.

The hardest part of foster care is trying not to get attached and then letting them go. B is our third placement and out of the other 2 the first one was the easiest to let go even though they were with us the longest. I think it's because we knew that they were going to be safe and well taken care of with the person they were going to. The 3 Cs on the other hand went back to their parents less than 2 weeks after being removed and were moving to another state. I still worry that they have been lost in the system because of the transfer and no one is watching to make sure they are ok. I pray daily that they are being kept safe and being taken care of. If B is going to a family member I think that she will be well cared for and loved. When you decide to be a foster parent you know the children are going to be taken away from your home on most occasions and that the goal is always supposed to be reunification. However, as a pediatrician and someone who takes care of abused children regularly, it's hard to think that the goal of reunification is a good one. It's also hard to think that as a foster parent when you hear about the horrible situation these kids were removed from and they are returned so quickly to the same situation.

Well, it's back to work I must go. The childrens hospital has had no open beds for days now. Tonight we have a few open beds but I keep admitting kiddos so that won't be the case by morning.

~until~

Family #3......

Wow, It hasn't been very long since I updated but a ton of things have changed. The 3C's went back with their family last Wednesday after court. We don't really understand why or how they could be sent back so quickly when we know the situation they came from, but our job is to love them and care for them while they are here and to pray for them daily when they leave. Please continue to pray that the 3 C's will be kept safe and will be taken care of. Thursday afternoon our agency called about a 7 month old little girl B. She came to our house Thursday evening and it has been so much fun. It's so fun to see the difference in each child that comes into our home. She is adorable and so sweet. We went to my parents this weekend. It was nice to get to spend time with my mom. Jonathan and my dad went to the gun range while my mom and I took B shopping. Goodwill has some really good deals on baby stuff :) Some of my friends from work who have little girls (which is almost all of them) have given us some stuff and let us borrow other stuff.

Well, I'm working nights so off to work I go.

~until!~

Old and New....

Wow, it has been a really long time since I wrote and things have changed a great deal around here. The last time I wrote we had had S&K for 2 weeks. They had their next court date on Feb 16 and went to live with an aunt that same day. I pray that they are happy and doing well. I'm happy that they are able to be with their brother and with family but not happy about how things "went down". I pray that they are well taken care of and happy. The day they went home we talked with our agency about when we wanted to be placed back on the available list. We had decided that the following Monday sounded good to us. This would allow us time to clean house, wash all of the bedding and prepare for the next new children to arrive.

This all changed on Friday night. The agency called late Friday night asking if we would take 3 siblings. We originally told them we would rather only take 2 children because of car space when only one of us is home. However, they called us back about 30 minutes later and were unable to find a family that could keep all 3 and we decided to take all 3. They came to our house about 12:30 that night and it has been an adventure. This case with what I will call the 3C's is so different from the last one. These children are much younger (6y, 4y, and 11mos) and they have been in foster care in the past. They came to us without many belongings so we have been slowly getting clothing and other things for them. We have had them just over a week and everyone seems to be adjusting well. We will be having these children for a while according to the case worker but we all know that that could change. Our first court date is in 2 days and hopefully we will find out a little more then. This case we also have the document that says why they were removed from their family. It's not something I can disclose on here but it does help us understand where they came from a little better.

It's really weird but we have fallen in love with these children faster than the ones from before. I don't know if it's because they are younger and therefore more dependent on us or if it's just different personalities but we have come to accept that it's ok to love different children differently and that with some children it will take longer.

I'm excited because while we have them the youngest will be having his 1st birthday and we get to have a party with our families to celebrate. It will be fun to plan and share his joy with our families. We are traveling this weekend to see my parents which will also be fun. I'm not looking forward to the next 2 weeks as I am going to be working nights and not going to get to spend much time with the kids or Jonathan.

Dinner is ready, gotta run.

~until~

2 WEEKS

It has been just over 2 weeks since S & K arrived at our house. The past 2 weeks feel like a lifetime at moments and like it was just yesterday at other times. The "honeymoon period" is definitely over. Foster care refers to the "honeymoon period" as a time when the children behave and act differently at first because they are unsure of their surroundings. K's honeymoon period seemed to end after about 4-5 days, S's however seems to be ending more recently. She is now pushing back on our limits/rules and tries the argument over and over "my mom said....". We can't really say "I don't care what your mom let you do...." but instead we say, "well here, we do it this way." Bedtime for K has gotten so much better. She hardly wakes up in the middle of the night anymore. Occasionally I'll still hear her cry in her sleep but not nearly as often. Going to bed for her is also getting easier. We have progressed to her hearing her stories and songs in her bed instead of having to be rocked. It's so sweet to hear her ask me "mommy please stay" when it's time for her to fall asleep. S is now pushing the bedtime issue. It's hard for her to understand that bedtime at 10pm is actually not unreasonable but since she was allowed to stay up as late as she wanted before (she's told us this herself) then she doesn't understand.

I don't want people to think that it's all bad, it's not. Being a parent these last few weeks has been one of the  greatest blessings we've ever had. These girls are so sweet and fun to be with. Their first court date was last week and they will be with us for at least 1 more month. There are a few family members who are trying to get home studies done so that the girls may be able to live with them. We will wait until next month to see where this is going. However, we have been told by our social worker that it could take a few months to have the family members home studies complete and approved. We will continue to love on these girls and teach them the love of Jesus while they are here. I'm so greatful that my residency program has been letting me spend so much time with the girls and Jonathan this month.

Please pray for us. Tomorrow K has a lab appointment to see if she has a pretty serious medical problem that she was possibly diagnosed with right before Christmas. It's hard for her to have to have blood drawn and it's hard for us to see her cry as well as to sit and wait for results.

~until~

Bedtime Routines....easy to talk about....hard to accomplish....

Tonight is night 5 with S & K. Last night was K's first night to sleep in her own bed by herself. Last nights bedtime routine took an hour and fifteen minutes to get her to go to bed by herself. It involved much ear splitting screaming that was so heartbreaking to listen to. We have decided not to include a bath in her bedtime routine because she doesn't get one everyday. For now, while we are establishing her routine and getting her used to sleeping in her own room and bed we have decided to give her a bath in the morning after breakfast if she needs one. Since she doesn't go to school this will work out fine for now. Maybe once she knows her routine we can start doing baths after dinner or adding them to her bedtime routine on the nights she needs one. The routine that we made last night while flying by the seat of our pants includes 2 books, rocking and singing songs, then just sitting, then her lying in bed while I sit in a chair by her and finally her drifting off to sleep. Like I said, last night took over an hour to accomplish this because she was freaking out so much. Tonight however only took about 15 minutes. I call that success. I'm hoping that with a steady routine things will continue to get easier. Hopefully as time passes she will also begin sleeping through the night. 2 nights ago she woke up no less than 10 times crying out for "momma" which right now means me. Last night it was only 4 or 5 and 2 of them were to go to the bathroom. Hopefully we can keep the numbers down today as well, although she's going to the bathroom more because she has a urinary tract infection.

S really opened up to us last night voluntarily. It was nice to hear things from her side and to hear how she feels about them. She is a very sweet girl who is trying really hard to handle all of this so well. Today we met with our CASA worker, who was really nice, and she talked to S for about an hour. The first court date for the girls is on Wednesday of next week. Hopefully that will give us an idea of what's going on. Our CASA worker explained the process to us a little more today which was nice. I know our agency has explained it before but it gets so overwhelming that I can't seem to remember anything.

Being a foster mom has been the hardest, yet already one of the most rewarding things I've ever done. I'm trying not to fall in love with these girls but I'm afraid I'm already failing miserably. Tomorrow we are all going to church.

~until~

The 3rd Night....

S&K have been here for just over 48 hours and it already feels like so much longer. They are both so incredibly sweet and loving. S (the oldest) has started coming out of her shell today and it's so much fun to laugh with her. K started calling me momma yesterday morning and started Jonathan daddy today. It's weird to go from not having kids to having 2 and one is already calling you momma and daddy. This has been more of a shock to us than I expected and it must be so hard on them. If you could keep praying for them and us. K cries in her sleep and wakes up scared. I know S must be having a hard time but she's not ready to talk yet, and that's ok. She will talk when she is ready. Things are still up in the air since their case hasn't gone to court yet and probably won't till sometime next week. Hopefully then we will know a little more about visitation with family, a semi expected length of stay, etc. It has been such an amazing, hard, trying, exciting, blessing, overwhelming at times, so much fun, loving experience! I am so glad that I have Jonathan to experience this with. Thanks for the prayers and congrats on our new family.

~until~

We Have KIDS!

Wow the last 2 weeks have been crazy. Vacation ended with lots of good family time. I started back to working nights right when getting back from vacation and just finished working nights on Monday 1/3. Yesterday morning we got a call about possible foster children. We said yes but then found out that they had already been placed with a family closer to home. However later that day we got another call about 2 sets of siblings asking which one we would be interested in. We chose S &K a 13 yr old and 2 yr old sisters. They got to our house about 9:30 last night and so far so good. They are very sweet and I think it's going to be great. I know that it's not all gonna be sunshine and roses but it's totally gonna be worth it. Today will hold us trying to enroll S in school and figuring out all the paper work for new kids. Please be continuing to pray for us and them as we all get to know each other and they learn to understand and accept their situation. I pray that they will know they are unconditionally loved here.

~until~